Acceptance May Reveal Opportunity
Many years ago, following a long-term marriage that ended in divorce, I was a complete blank when trying to envision my future. I was without direction and caught in a web of unhappy thoughts. My inner compass was seemingly out of reach.
I eventually thought traveling for a bit might help, but I was so lost, I had no idea where to go. And I couldn’t understand where my former clear-thinking self had gone.
I even tried a technique I read about for accessing messages from the unconscious. You write a question with the hand you normally use and then switch the pen to the other hand to receive the answer.
I wrote: Why can’t I hear a specific answer?
The response from my undisciplined hand read: You are a woman in love with struggle!!
That ruffled me in a big way, so I gave it a rest until a close friend reminded me that I was especially fond of Greece. Just the idea of it gave me glimmers of joy, so I decided to return, since tourist season wasn’t for months, and I would have the advantage of reduced rates and quiet surroundings.
I opted for Santorini as a first stop, but as I lifted my suitcase from the baggage carousel something popped in my back which immediately triggered sciatica pain down both of my legs. By the time I reached the hotel, I could barely move. This obviously, was not convenient for someone traveling alone.
I hobbled into bed trying to get comfortable, hoping to free myself from the pain when it occurred to me that this predicament was a metaphor for my life. I have always avoided pain. I wondered what would happen I embraced it. Would it make a difference?
I did not think of anything other than greeting the pain. I did not try to make it stop. I was there with it, present, waiting to see what transpired. I even asked what it wanted; what it needed. Amazingly, after a short time, it stopped! I couldn’t believe it! I moved cautiously. I got up slowly and walked around. It was absolutely gone!
I wondered if all pain is the same regardless of whether it’s physical or emotional in nature. What would happen if I met my emotional pain without resistance? Would I move through it more quickly? The idea of this was exciting. I realized that if I react by spending my energy trying to escape pain, my focus becomes the escape, rather than the pain. And if I fail to be present for the pain, I may miss its message.
This put things in a different perspective. Pain, whether physical or emotional, is a natural part of our humanness. It’s a response not something to resist or fear. If we accept our pain, if we open, take pause and reflect, we may be inspired to make different choices, to perhaps move onto a new path, becoming redirected and renewed as part of the process.
Ever since that night in Santorini this epiphany has been with me, especially this past year while sheltering place. It definitely helped keep things in perspective. Afterall, who among us does not experience challenge? Recognizing that there may opportunity accompanying ‘darkness’ can be a genuine comfort. In other words, we can choose to accept our circumstances, reflect on them, and begin anew. The key is remembering that choice is part of every moment, empowering us to pause and decide which thoughts and actions will feel good and take us where we want to go.
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